Sigh. It’s taking so long to get my boy Mingus off of my desk and into your hands.
This revision process has been facing some stiff competition in the shape of real life. Damn that stuff sucks!
I’m tired of real life getting in the way of my fiction! People gotta read theez werdzesz!!!
So I’ve been wracking my brains with a way to keep my nose to the grindstone in order to get these edits done and off to the good folks at Ganache for their copyediting prowess.
Then I remembered how a friend of mine’s father developed an ingenious technique to get himself to finish his papers on time: He wrote a $100 check to the KKK and said if he didn’t finish on time a friend was instructed to mail it. He despised the Klan so much that he never sent the check and always got the work out before deadline.
In this day and age I was trying to come up with some person, place or thing equally abhorrent to me so that I would finish on time but also wouldn’t put me on any FBI terrorist list. Then it dawned on me: an entity that was very legal yet so hated by myself and others that it would motivate me to finish my work so they would never see a dime from me.
Thus I hereby on this blog do proclaim that if I do not finish my edits on my novel LAST SPACEWSHIP TO BROOKLYN by dawn of September 1, 2014 I will donate $100 to the Republican Party.
IN ORDER TO STAY TRUE TO PORTLAND MAINE’S FIERCE BUY LOCAL SPIRIT I WILL NO LONGER DONATE $100.00 TO THE GOP BUT TO THE RE-ELECTION CAMPAIGN OF GOVERNOR PAUL “WOMEN WITH LITTLE BEARDS, THE NAACP CAN KISS MY ASS AND PRESIDENT OBAMA CAN GO TO HELL ARE AMONG SOME OF THE GEMS I HAVE SAID AS MAINE’S GOVERNOR” LEPAGE. BECAUSE HE’S MADE THE STATE A LAUGHING STOCK AND IS A SERIOUS BULLYING D-BAG!
$100 hurts, trust me. And giving it to a political party so inimical to the American way of life would gall me so much how can I not do it!
So by publicly stating it I know i have to do it. I have to finish this book or else I will help the Republican party with my money.
I’d better get working!